October 5th

What do little children think God is like?

For a recent class in my Child Development program, I got to choose and critique a journal article. The article I chose (Does God comfort you when you are sad? Religious diversity in children's attribution of positive and negative traits to God) focused on how children thought God feels about them. Research with 3- to 7-year-olds found that most young children are sure God loves them and helps people, and are actually not sure God is scary or punishing. And, that sense of God's love also grew stronger as children got older.

As a parent and children’s priest, this is comforting evidence. Our little ones come to us already believing they are loved by God. Our role is to protect and nurture their loving connection to God. This shouldn’t add pressure to what you already do as parents and caregivers. Instead of asking what you need to do to introduce your child to God, maybe shift to see if you can notice where your child might already be experiencing God’s love.

Here are some ways I’ve learned from children over the years about the places they feel loved by God:

  • Being listened to

  • Being outside

  • Spending time with their pets

  • Playing

  • Swimming, moving, and dancing

  • Being with friends

  • Reading and resting

  • Laughing

  • Creating

  • Getting a hug when they are sad

And remember, less is more! Try to resist the urge to connect the dots for your child; the dots are probably already connecting. Instead of asking directly: “Does this make you feel close to God?” try asking: “I wonder if there was a time when you felt especially loved by God today.” You can even drop the “God” part—I know that might be scary for those of us who grew up with the pressure to connect everything back to God all the time. But God IS love. Wherever your child felt love, they felt God.

And then follow their lead. They might not want to talk about it or they might say they don’t know or they might give a silly answer. This isn’t a formula—just a practice, a way of noticing and validating where our kids are experiencing God’s love.

Optional practices:

  • Ask your child if they want to draw a picture of what they think God is like. Don’t worry if it’s silly or strange! Be curious and open.

  • Read What is God Like together by Matthew Paul Turner and Rachel Held Evans. Ask: I wonder what your favorite part of the story was? I wonder what part of the story is just for you?

Lee, H. J., Marin, A. B., Sun, J., & Richert, R. A. (2023). Religions, 14(9), 1181.