The Robb Elementary tragedy

Dear St. Mary’s,

I am sitting in the Godly Play room with 19 tiny candles lit and the only words that I can think to pray are “it’s too much.”

And when it’s too much, and when there aren’t words that do justice, it helps me to know that I am not alone in my grief.

So, let me tell you that if you are angry, afraid, exhausted, gutted, without comfort, and beyond broken-hearted, you are not alone.

I don’t know how to reconcile this evil with a God who is good, but I do know that personally, my suffering has been compounded when I (or others) try too hard to make it make sense. This shouldn’t make sense. It shouldn’t be explainable or understandable.

I have been thinking about Jesus weeping over Lazarus—not to make a tidy theological point about being human, but because he was actually, in the moment, overwhelmed and grief-stricken. I wonder what that looked like? Shaking, shoulders heaving, tears and snot running down his face. I wonder what that sounded like? Tears instead of answers. I wonder if it was surprising to hear Jesus cry? I wonder if Mary and Martha had to hold him up? Their friend. And I wonder if in the middle of his weeping, Jesus asked why?

Dear ones, may you not feel the pressure to make meaning today.

But may you be comforted in solidarity by Jesus, our brother, who has felt the lonely despair of grief deep in his bones.

My heart is with you all today as you love and care for the little ones in your lives.

If you need to talk or process any of this, I am available.

Below are resources for helping children process in such a difficult time.

From the Fred Rogers Institute:

From NPR:

Spiritual care for children:

  • If you are on social media, Sissy Goff, M.Ed., LPC-MHSP (friend of St. Mary’s and counselor at Daystar Ministries in Nashville) has a couple of very helpful videos addressing the Robb Elementary tragedy specifically (and how to engage with children about it) here and here.

  • From children’s spiritual director Lacy Finn Borgo on Instagram: making prayer/presence beads as a way to process grief and suffering.

For caregivers: